Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Our Own Steps

We walk. We stumble, we trudge, we plod, trip, shuffle... you get the idea. Often times, we do it all with our own two feet. I know I'm prone to that... I do it with "my" steps. "My" way. And I fall, many times, flat on my face.

I'm reminded of that popular saying, "Let go and let God." But I'm not looking at God. I'm looking at others. I'm looking at women who have little children, full houses to run, and still have flourishing craft businesses, plus time to write blogs, Tweet, Pin, etc. And here I am, sitting on the couch (also my Mom's bed), watching tv with my 2 little ones. I nap when they nap. I draw (sometimes) at work (I work 3 hours a night) taking care of an old woman who generally sleeps. I rarely have time to ever bring out my computer at home.

Where am I going with this ramble? I have no idea. I just know that so much is missing. I need to increase my relationship with God. I need to learn how to begin working with Kyle (4) on reading. I need to clean rather than tidy up. I need to make dinners rather than chicken nuggets or hot dogs (how did people exist before microwaves?) I need to learn how to play with my children... they won't be little forever. I just always feel so tired and am putting one step in front of the other, plodding on, in my own steps...

It's time for a change. I want to be a better mother. I want to be a better Child of God.